Renaissance Runner: The Movie!

I've been asked a few times in the past that if a movie of my life and times were to be made, who would I cast to play me? My answer, without evasion, equivocation, or mental reservation has been Erik Estrada. Who better than the macho, super cool Officer Frank "Ponch" Poncherello from the 70's TV series "CHiPs" to portray the glory and majesty that is Renaissance Runner?

Mind you the, 80's and 90's were not necessarily kind to my homey Erik. Understanding that a man's gotta pay the bills, I forgave him for less than stellar gigs such as Hollywood Squares and Circus of the Stars. I even looked the other way when I saw he was on the Reality TV series The Surreal Life. What I witnessed recently, however, just goes too far. I was up late Saturday night sitting at my computer, with the TV on for background noise. Suddenly I heard an all too familiar voice and saw Mr. Estrada on the screen, wearing a tacky Hawaian shirt, doing a commercial selling property for some sort of "gated" community in Arkansas. Yes, that's right, Arkansas! A half hour later he was back plugging the same concept in Florida.

Mr. Estrada, you may have once been a star. You may have once been great. But now you will never know what it is like to play the Renaissance Runner. My new choice to play me is none other than Scott Baio. This ladies man was even inducted into The Man Show Hall of Fame for his reputation of dating women such as Brooke Shields, Pamela Anderson, Nicolette Sheridan and Heather Locklear among other celebrity hotties. So long Ponch, you washed up sellout. Hello Chachi!