You look just like...

A couple of weekends ago, I got a call that a bunch of my friends were going to go out to an upscale club in Ottawa called "18". I hadn't been to 18, but was curious about it so I said I'd join them. A little later, I got a call saying 18 was reserved for a private function and they were going somewhere else. Somewhere else turned out to be Maxwells. For those of you not familiar with the Ottawa bar scene, Maxwells is a cougar bar on Elgin St. While not thrilled with the venue, I decided what was important was that I'd be with friends, so out I went.

After being there about an hour, I noticed an attractive non-cougar checking me out. This cutie saw I was also looking at her, so she walked over. She smiled, opened those full, pouty lips of hers and said, "Has anyone ever told you you look just like Rick Mercer?"

This scenario had played out quite differently in my head. "Uh, no. And I'm not quite sure how I feel about that," I answered.

"It's not a bad thing," she reasoned. "He's an intelligent guy, and it's probably not going to be the last time you hear that comparison." With that, she went back to her group.

Now don't get me wrong. I realize there are celebraties out there who would be far worse to be compared to. Ones who immediately come to mind are Steve Buscemi, Michael Jackson, John Goodman, Keith Richards and post-bender Nick Nolte. I like Rick Mercer. I agree he's an intelligent guy, and very funny too. I can even say he's not bad looking, but he's not what women would refer to as a hottie. I'm fairly certain women who make this observation will never follow this up with, "My roommate Candi and I have always had this fantasy involving Rick Mercer. Why don't you come back to our place for some hot, sweaty monkey love?" Not. Gonna. Happen.

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce