Back in Black!

Hello, my Renaissance Runnettes. It's good to be back. It warms my heart to see in the comments section that my absence was noted and that I was missed. I'm sure the question in all of your minds right now is, "Where was RR all this time that he couldn't keep us enthralled with the minutiae of his life?" There are a few possibilities:

1. I was away in distant and exotic lands having mind-blowing adventures, which I can't elaborate on due to matters of national security.

2. As a tribute to the passing of Hunter S. Thompson, I went on a massive drug and alcohol fueled mad roller coaster ride through the American Southwest in a 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible. The finer details of which are a little hazy right now. Especially the part about where I went to a piercing shop and got a Prince Albert.

3. I was abducted by aliens and subjected to painful and humiliating tests. Speaking of which, why do aliens always give their abductees an anal probe? What's up with that? Personally, I don't think it has any scientific merit to it and they just do it for shits and giggles. I find it strangely comforting that a race of beings advanced enough to have developed interstellar travel, still finds sticking a probe in someone's rectum uproariously funny.

4. I have the winter blahs, I've been busy at work, and frankly been just too damn lazy to blog.

Which one is it? I'll leave it up to you to decide which one you like best. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to prep for Mr. Johnson's colostomy.